oh, hi! remember me?

now, before you go getting your hopes up, i'm not here to tell you that i'm coming back to the world of sex blogging. at least not now, anyway. thanks to jefferson, though, you can now get that meg fix you've been needing and wanting so bad.

(just pretend and make me feel good, ok?)

for the next couple of days, you can check out a handful of songs that mean something to me and read the stories about why they mean something to me over at the smut turntable. not all of my selections shout"SEX!" but i like to think that all together, they tell a nice, little story. and if you stick with me until the end, you may even get some interesting updates on the recent events in my little life.

posted by Meg @ 8:10 PM | 1 comments

it's been some time, i know. and during that some, some thinking has been done.

i always told myself i would continue to write this blog as long as it remained fun and easy. i promised myself that the moment any sort of drama entered my life as a result of it or worse, any threat to my career or other relationships was posed, that i would gracefully step aside and turn in my "meg" name tag.

unfortunately, that time has come. thankfully, i've made some pretty awesome friends in the process. friends i know i will have for quite some time.

friends i'd really rather keep around forever, you know?

but the negative side effects of all this crazy and rather hastily woven web of who fucked who and who's jealous of who or angry about what? well, that i'd rather not be a part of because my life without it?

pretty fucking fantastic.

this blog turned two back in april and i didn't even realize it at the time. that was when it really hit me - that i was ready to just be done with this. the blog will remain online (for now), as evidence that i was here and that i did in fact have a hell of a lot of fun, but any unwritten accounts and future interactions will be kept to myself.

and of course, those lucky enough to be involved. you know who you are. i'll be seeing you soon.


*thank you dear readers, truly, for the many lovely ways you have showed me your support during the past two years. though i'll no longer be writing, i'll still be around reading and checking my email.

posted by Meg @ 12:17 AM | 11 comments

it's no secret that i like my partners to be of the dominating nature. i've been topped by both women and men, sometimes separately, sometimes together. so when rachel kramer bussel asked me if i'd like to participate in her kinky virtual book tour, i eagerly accepted.

it was hard to pick between the two books being featured - he's on top and its sister in crime, she's on top. (did you know you can buy them together for a mere twenty bucks and some change? those folks at amazon are so smart.) i ultimately settled on the former and have since spent much quality time curled up and lost in its pages.

you know, as my mind and body longed to be tied down, splayed out, beaten and toyed with along with the female characters in the story. lucky for me, i had a date in a dungeon looming at the end of my week.

that's a tale you'll have to wait another day or two for, dear readers. for now, i find myself in the delicious position of being the one doing the teasing by offering you an excerpt from one of my favorite stories in the book, the one that had me throwing the book down on my couch and rushing to my dirty nightstand - lee ash's "boardroom etiquette".

what can i say? i'm a sucker for powerful, professional women who like to give up control behind closed doors.

ahem.


"Do you know what Guy said you needed?" Carter breathed.

She grunted.

He could tell her anger was at the same level as her desire for him.
She was a beautiful woman and he adored her with genuine affection.
But her submissive nature was offset by an assertive personality. The
control she yearned for had to be administered with a ruthless hand.
His erection throbbed harder when he realised he was the man she had
chosen to deliver that control.

"Guy said you needed a cock in your mouth to shut you up."

"I'll have him fired."

"You'll do no such thing," Carter snapped. He snatched his hand from
between her legs, grimacing at having to give up his contact with the
warm haven of her cleft. Hearing her groan with equal dismay only
provided a small satisfaction. Determined to enforce his authority on
her, Carter grabbed a fistful of hair and dragged her away from the
desk. She fell to her knees in front of his crotch. Her open mouth was
on the same level as the bulge in his pants. "You won't have Guy
fired. You'll prove him right. And you'll suck me off now."

Slowly, he peeled his zip downwards.

If there had ever been any worry that Kirsty didn't want this, that
doubt evaporated when he watched her hungrily lick her lips. Her eyes
glinted wide at the sight of his exposed erection. Her smile turned
greedy. Without hesitation she stroked her tongue along his length.

The sensation was an exquisite caress. The warm fluid sensation of her
tongue against his shaft was enough to push him to the point of
climax. Carter stiffened as he tried to stop himself from coming too
soon in this game.

posted by Meg @ 6:23 AM | 2 comments

it's just after 9:00 on a monday morning and penn station is full and busy. people run about on all sides as i walk slowly, my eyes still heavy with sleep and my head still swimming a little. there is classical music filling the space of the waiting area, something baroque and full of ornaments. the light fabric of my t-shirt brushes against the blister on my stomach. the straps of my bag cut into the new bruises on my shoulders.

my stomach reminds me that we never got around to eating after yesterday's lunch, our bellies too full of bourbon and each other to notice. i grab a breakfast of yogurt, granola and fruit and sit down to wait for my train. my thoughts return to the previous evening...


"don't move," you tell me.

i nod a little, whimper a little, keeping my eyes on yours, wide and unblinking.

your bedroom is dark, lit only by a few tea light candles placed here and there. there is one in your hand. i watch as you begin to tilt it, then close my eyes and wait for the heat to spread across my body as the hot wax splashes down over my belly, thighs, breasts, neck.


we watched the evening news, half dressed, fingertips and toes grazing each other now and then. you turned the tv and lights off and peeled off your pants as i wiggled free from my shirt and panties. you ravished my belly, side to side, your teeth digging in a little more each time. you twisted my nipples and pulled at the straps of my bra.

"take this off before you get up here to suck my dick."

i lowered my face into your body and inhaled deeply, parting my lips and savoring the first taste. your fingers in my hair, insistent and encouraging, your hand cupping my jaw, i worked to take all of you into me. my legs trembled a little and my eyes left sticky wet streaks on my cheeks as you held me in place, pressing against the back of my throat. again. and again.

you pushed me away and reached for a condom. i sat on my heels in the middle of your bed, frozen, catching my breath in short gasps, eyes lowered as you readied yourself.

you pulled me to the corner of the bed and pushed yourself into me. i gasped a little. you pressed harder and faster, taking handfuls of flesh between your fingers and squeezing. my nipples became your handles, my calves framed your face.

we fucked until my body became a quivering mess. you gathered me up and covered my body with your weight, smiling as i shook a little in your arms. foreheads pressed together for a moment before you stood to wash up and refill our glasses.

we turned the tv on again and watched ty pennington run around like a mad man with his megaphone. during commercial breaks, our already entangled bodies pressed closer together as we kissed and nibbled on each other.

"do you still have those nice candles you dripped all over me the last time i was here? and the baby oil?"

"not those candles, but i'm sure what i have will do. what were you thinking - your front or back?"

"my front."

your kiss told me you liked the idea.

the tv went dark once again and you went off to gather supplies, returning with a sheet, a bag of tea lights, a lighter and the baby oil. i stood up long enough for the sheet to go down and fell back down to watch you light candles and place them around the room.

you sat down next to me and poured the oil into your palms, warming it and spreading it over my belly and thighs. you poured more and coated my legs and breasts. your slick fingers dipped into my slick folds and pressed into my cunt. two or three? four? soon joined by the fingers of your other hand, stretching me wide and fucking me harder. knuckles scraping against my asshole replaced by a fingertip, pressing and gaining easy entrance.

your body lay parallel to mine as you used the weight of your upper body to thrust both hands into me. i could feel your knuckles pressing against my cunt. i tried to say yes, to urge you on with my words, but could only form sob-like moans. i reached for your leg and you gave it to me. i hugged it to my chest and your foot found my throat.

my orgasm shot up my back. i lifted off the bed and your foot on my throat, jabbing into my jaw, immediately pressed me back down, stealing my air and holding me in place as my cunt and ass tried to end your fingers' assault.

through my cries, i heard you growl, "one more, one more."

our bodies were shiny with sweat and baby oil. you continued to rob me of speech and breath and all ability to form thought. i brought weak fingers to your chest and used everything inside me to get out the word, "please."

your thrusts ceased and your fingers left me slowly, purposefully. you took your glass in one hand and a candle in the other. i smiled weakly and sighed my appreciation as the first warm, gooey stream drizzled over my stomach. another pooled into the valley between my breasts. i lay spread out for you, a pale, freckled canvas. the wax spilled onto my nipples and between my legs.


"don't move," you tell me as you place a candle on my lower abdomen.

i nod and brace myself for the next hot stream that puddles onto my neck and shoulders. candle after candle, emptied onto my skin and then left to rest. three across my belly, three in a triangle on my chest, one on each breast. my fingers and toes curl as i struggle to stay still.

your fingers invade my cunt again. i look at you with pleading eyes.

"don't move," you tell me.

the metal of the tea lights gets hotter on my skin. the one in the center of my stomach begins to burn.

"please, hot..."

these are the only words i can form as you continue to fuck me with your fingers. you look down at me, at my tear stained cheeks, and begin to remove the candles one at a time. as you lift each one from my skin, you tip it over and finish it off, the wax even hotter and thinner now.

only the candle in the center of my stomach remains. you reach for it and press harder into my cunt.

"don't move," you tell me.

posted by Meg @ 10:42 AM | 10 comments

today is an anniversary of sorts.

not the kind of anniversary you write on the calendar and draw a heart around, bright red and full of promise.

not the sort you look forward to, oh so excited about the gifts you'll receive or the special way in which you'll celebrate said anniversary with someone special.

(well, actually...)

dear readers,

it has officially been six months (to the day) since i last had sexual contact of any kind.

it's ok, i understand. take your time. i know it's hard to believe, let alone accept.

the first couple of months were challenging to say the least. but around the time when month four hit, i'd found new things to focus on and distract my mind from that barren wasteland that was once my vagina.

by month five, i was actually ready to own this drought, to take control of the reins. i made it my own personal challenge to only return to the world of sex when the time felt right and the ideal situation presented itself.

so how did i spend the past six months? well dear readers, i'm glad you asked.

today also marks three months (to the day) since i last smoked a cigarette. and no, it was not hard. i made the decision to quit for good while standing on a rooftop deck overlooking philly with connie. it was new year's eve and there were fireworks shooting off all over the city. it was also very cold and the cigarette between my fingers just didn't taste good anymore.

say what you will, but i was one of those people who truly enjoyed smoking. i did it because i liked it, never out of some addictive need to. often, i'd go weeks at a time without one and not even miss it. and so, on that particular evening, i decided i was done and haven't looked back since.

cold turkey, bitches.

but wait, that's not even the best part...

i've also lost 25 pounds. not in six months or even three months, but in eleven weeks.

say what you will about bob greene (and the freaky fact that he lives right next door to oprah and always poses for pictures with her dogs) - the man's pretty smart when it comes to the eating right and the exercising and the whole taking your time and doing things in phases. and while i'm not following his program to the letter (because hello, no alcohol at all?), i've found a way to make it work for myself and this is the healthiest i've felt in...well, ever.

so there you have it. and in case you were wondering, yes - the ideal situation has indeed presented itself and is currently heading down the southbound lanes of the jersey turnpike at what i'm sure is a speedy clip. and yes, i have been looking forward to it, oh so excited about the "gifts" i'll receive. and now that i think about it, i did write it down on the calendar, though not inside of a big, red heart.

but i will be spending it with someone(s) special.

posted by Meg @ 3:00 PM | 9 comments

thanks to a much-needed snow day, i got to spend today with my favorite valentine of all.

me.

posted by Meg @ 11:28 PM | 7 comments

(subtitled, "anatomy of a no frills orgasm")

"come on meg, are we gonna do this?"

i looked up from the screen of my macbook, which was keeping my thighs warm as i sat in the big dish chair in my mother's apartment. i looked down my body, so comfortable nestled deep into the chair's well-worked groove with my feet propped up in front of me. i sighed a little, closed my laptop and joined my mother in the center of the living room.

"fine, start the damn tape."

billy blanks and his scary pectorals filled the tv screen in front of us. i wished i was home with my own elliptical machine and favorite pilates dvds, but i'd spent the night at my mother's apartment and needed some sort of replacement workout.

her suggestion? tae-bo.


"ok meg, i'm getting my shower now. i won't be long."

i plopped back down into the dish chair i'd abandoned earlier, careful not to lean back and let my sweaty shirt make contact with the cushion. as i sat gulping down a big glass of ice water, i felt annoyed and restless.

damn, i needed an orgasm.

i clicked my way through all my usual internet distractions as i waited for mom to get out of the shower. i crossed my legs and squirmed a little. after a solid 30 minutes of fist-pumping, leg-kicking cardio, my clit was steadily pulsing, calling out to me in a way it hasn't done much of lately.

hrmm, i wonder how much longer she'll be in there...


"meg, you need to pretend you're actually punching something!"

"mom, i don't punch things. i don't even know how to. i'm a pacifist, remember?"

"you should be sweating by now. come on, follow through with those punches."

"i AM," i managed through my gritty teeth. "maybe it just takes me more to sweat than it does you."

i glanced over at her, waiting for the immediate comeback i was sure my comment would incite. why was my mother such a competitive freak when it came to fitness?

but she let it go, too caught up in her own version of billy blanks' crazy kicks ("ok, double time!") to pay me any extra attention. i took a short break to get a glass of water from the fridge.

"make sure you keep moving while you pour that water!"


"the shower's all yours, meg."

finally, i thought. i closed my macbook and rushed past mom, closing the door hard behind me. i peeled off my clothes and impatiently played around with the faucets until i found the right water temperature.

ahh, my favorite part of every workout - standing under the hot, hot water and feeling it soothe all my worked muscles. standing there, dripping and concentrating on slowing my breathing. closing my eyes and feeling every bit of tension drain out of my body through my toes.

"damn, that's good."

i opened my eyes, suddenly aware of the fact that i was not in my own shower. instead, i was in a bathroom my mom would thinking nothing of walking in and out of while i took my shower. she'd hang her towel up, brush her teeth, fix her hair, whatever she pleased, paying no mind to whatever was going on behind that shower curtain.

that's what happens when you grow up without a man in the house - total bathroom freedom (and let me just say, it never stopped at the shower).

i was about to put a lot of faith in mom's ability to ignore me if she did happen to walk in, as well as my ability to remain perfectly silent while giving myself an orgasm.

oh, it's true. those who have been with me, those who have had the pleasure of giving me orgasms will tell you this is just not possible. meg? oh, she's a screamer.

just think of me as a selective mute.

i squatted down in the tight space of my mother's shower, my back resting against the wall. i bent my head down and watched the water drip from the ends of my hair and roll down my nose. i spread my knees and sucked two fingers into my mouth. i placed one on each side of my clit and squeezed them together gently, rubbing back and forth lazily.

my own slightly modified warm-up exercise, you know?

my arm rested across my thighs, my nipples grazing them as i rocked back and forth ever so slightly. i grabbed one and pinched it hard.

i focused on keeping quiet as i rubbed faster and pinched harder. my breath breath quickened as my heart rate increased. i savored the sweet friction of skin on skin, something that's really not an option when you've got irritated skin in the most unfortunate of places. for the past four months, i've relied almost extensively on my bullet vibes and orchid g, only occasionally mixing things up with a butt plug here and there.

it was fine and kept me from totally losing my mind, but damn i'd missed those fingers. or actually, MY fingers.

i felt that tingle begin in my lower belly and took a long, deep breath before lowering my head toward my chest. i released my nipple, breathing in sharply, and placed my hand on the floor of the tub to keep my body from slipping into jumbled heap.

i felt my own slick wetness mix with the water dripping down my body. my head came up and hit the shower wall with a quiet thud. i pulled my fingers from my gasping clit and stood up in one quick motion, every sensation rushing to my head.

my knees wobbled. i planted both palms against the wall of the shower and lost myself in the sensations as the water poured down over me. i concentrated on my breathing as the tension left my body, draining out through my toes.

like i said, my favorite part of EVERY workout.


i emerged from the bathroom, clean and fresh and all glowy. while i'd been losing myself in uh, myself, my sister had arrived.

"hey leslie!"

"hey meg!"

"ok girls, grandmom just called. we're all meeting at her place in half an hour. are we ready to go?"

posted by Meg @ 4:48 PM | 4 comments